Louie

My kind sir:

I write to you today with both greetings and misgivings. In fact, I write to you to beseech you to aid me in my troubles. As I am sure you are aware, I have lived many years on this earth, twenty, in fact, having come to this fine establishment eight years past.

Oh, from time to time I’ve had my difficulties with the upstart goose George (not to be confused with George the pig or George the chinchilla). But we work out our difficulties in a goose-like fashion (with my flapping of wings and screaming at high and annoying pitches).  Until recently life worked quite well. And then the females came. There are four of them now, and they are brutal, unrelenting bullies. Might I say that being bullies was STRICTLY George’s and my job. We have been usurped.

In this letter I shall propose to you a few things that would improve my quality of life (besides asking those female geese to find other lodgings). I do believe quality of life should always be considered, especially as one reaches a more mature, and shall we say, advanced age?

First, while the cold weather does not particularly trouble me, it does cause problems with water. To be specific, it is frozen. Please consider sending me this very fine water bowl that can be plugged in so that I may drink at my leisure, no matter the weather?  https://tinyurl.com/heated-water-bowl-for-louie

Second, the whole farm has gotten quite enthused about supplements and vitamins this year. I, too, have researched the matter and have discovered that Brewers Yeast is quite good for Anatidae (that is my general scientific family, should you not be in the know).  https://tinyurl.com/brewers-yeast-for-louie

One more thing: Santa, sometimes those cheeky little goats squeeze into our feeding area and try to steal our food.  This is bad. It’s bad for them to eat our food and it’s bad for us to not eat our food. I think that this treadle-feeder would help us a lot. It would mean I could eat whenever I feel like it, but the cafeteria will otherwise be closed. https://tinyurl.com/feeder-for-louie

OK Santa my dear, could you kindly send me a sponsor for the season? I would be very nice to them, especially if they bring me some treats like fresh greens or blueberries!  Sadly, I am not beyond being bribed.  But then, who is?

https://shop.stargazingfarm.org/product/louie/

In closing, I remain respectfully yours,

Louie