It is I once again, the Jean-Claude and it is once again National Llama Day! Eh bien, it is quite amazing how the clock she turns around and around and suddenly we are here again, as though no time had passed at all. Is it not? Monsieur, today I shall see you here at my very own farm. I shall of course greet you first and lead you around to meet my new llamas Pepper and Dingy. Of course you will remember Marguerite the alpaca, but you shall stay well away from that one. Oh yes, indeed, she is so beautiful, but she spits, mon dieu, it is a very terrible habit.
Now I must tell you a story most sad. And yes, it has to do with our dining arrangements. You see, we have these very fine feeders that hang on the fence. However, I believe they are, what you call, elusive. They are like the ballpoint pens for the humans. There are so many of them and then, POOF! they have disappeared. These feeders are essential for us llamas (and the spitting alpaca) to eat properly and at the right height. I think that part of the problem is that the previous acquisition manager must have had very bad taste, because so many of them are dark. Dark blue, dark green, they disappear into the dirt, sacré bleu, it is, how do you say, an abomination!
Non non non, we must have the very BRIGHT feeders. Here we have, par example, a hot pink feeder: https://tinyurl.com/bright-feeders-for-jc I do believe it would be most hard indeed to lose such a thing in the dark, do you not agree? The lime green would also do very well. Eh bien, merci.
Now I will ask you on behalf of my colleagues, for they (for reasons only they may understand) prefer to spend much time down in the woods. However, there is simply no shelter down there. Yes yes yes I know about the Big Barn Project. I do know about it, because it is always in the air, the discussions, they go on and on, and the fundraising, it continues and mon Dieu you would think they are trying to build a new Taj Mahjal. (Eh oui it is très important but I am concerned with my llama colleagues, if you please). You see, they need something so very simple and small. A shed where they may rest and get their shelter without having to worry about all the goats and sheep. Indeed, most especially the sheep are so exceedingly impolite. Bien, but let me explain: the problem is that we need someone to come and build it because it is quite impossible to bring a large delivery vehicle into the woods. Perhaps someone would sponsor this little project? It is quite attractive, is it not?
Now, you should know that we llamas are very tidy. We like things to be just so. The goats and the sheep, merde alors, they go to the bathroom where it suits them. They may even be eating or having a conversation and there it happens. Non! We go to our salle de bain and we do our business quite privately. And so the mess our friends leave behind them is quite considerably irritating. There are, naturellement, many tools for cleaning, but the old fashioned rake is my preferred tool. It is elegant and tall and strong, heh, just like moi! https://tinyurl.com/rake-for-jc And truly, most of our rakes are in quite a pitiable state.
But Monsieur Santa, I take up too much of your time. I shall close by thanking you for being a friend to the animals. And will you, s’il vous plaît, invite your friends to sponsor me, since, in fact, I am certainement the most handsome animal on this farm and I would so very much love to receive love notes and visits from similarly attractive people. Merci!