Jean-Claude
Mon cher Monsieur Santa,
It is today the most amazing day of the year — it is National Llama Day! Eh bien, I cannot imagine anyone better suited to the job of representing the llamas but myself. Oui, we have another llama here and she is most beautiful. Her name is Pepper. I will show you a picture of her, but please remember that I am the representative today, c’est bien?
Monsieur, I have become more and more important at this farm. Every year I take on more responsibilities and my correspondence with my fans takes up a terrible amount of time, but hélas I must satisfy their curiosity and admiration for me, n’est-ce pas?
Bon, M. Santa, please let me get to our business at hand, for I know you are a very busy gentleman as am I. I shall, now, present to you my wishes for presents for this holiday season. First, a step ladder. You may think, but Jean-Claude, you are so tall, why would you need a ladder? It is simple, mon ami. Here at the farm there are so many things that need to be reached up high (including the very tasty mulberry leaves). I shudder to watch the silly humans who hardly have any necks at all and instead use their most unattractive arms instead – they cannot reach anything. It is out of pity that I ask for this for these poor, short humans. https://tinyurl.com/step-stool-for-jc
Bon, next – a hose. I must have clean water to drink out of. And for that one must have a clean hose. I do not know why the large animals with their large feet must always be stepping all over the hoses, and the silly tractor just runs over them as though they do not matter. Mon Dieu. There is no respect for hoses here. But we truly need a new one, for I must have my clean water! https://tinyurl.com/hose-for-jc
Finally, we are now three camelids who must eat at the same time. The only comfortable way for us to do this is to have a nice hanging feeder so we can eat with our heads not bending down like some foolish horse. Bah, those horses! Our feeders are an ugly green and are old. I so need a shiny new one like this: https://tinyurl.com/feeder-for-jc
I must also inform you of the amazing fact that one can purchase a beautiful ornament in my form with my name on it, as well. This way you can admire me all year long!
https://shop.stargazingfarm.org/product/carved-ornaments/
Finalement, there is the matter of sponsorship. I require that a person of fine taste and appreciation for beauty become my sponsor. It is not too much to ask, no? They will receive a very fine photograph that they may frame and put on their desk so that I may remind them every day of my proud handsomeness!
https://shop.stargazingfarm.org/product/jean-claude/
Recevez, je vous prie, mes meilleures amitiés,
Jean-Claude
PS Here is a photo of the very lovely Pepper!

