Falkor

Hey. Santa.  It’s me. What are you doing? Are you coming, or what?

Like, everyone is “all abuzz” about your visiting the farm, but seriously – you have to make such a big deal out of it. Like, we have 365 days of the year to choose from and you give us exactly one. ONE. Look, I’m not an ingrate (yeah ok maybe sometimes) but I’m just saying, this farm has got to be the coolest place you come to and I don’t see why we have to wait all year for you to decide to descend here with all of your noisy reindeer. And only once?  Last year one of them said they could take me on. AS IF. You gotta work on their attitudes, dude.

Here’s what I want this year: I want people to stop dissing me. They’re like “oh no, that Falkor, he’s a mean SOB,” “stay away from him, he’s unpredictable”, “don’t give him cookies – he’ll never stop asking.” OK. So the first two things might have a tiny ring of truth to them. But the cookies business. Don’t touch the cookies. Don’t mess with my cookies. In fact, send me more. Umm, please. https://tinyurl.com/cookies-for-falkor

Santa, you’re a hairy guy, right? Do you shed out in the springtime? You DON’T? You mean you stay hairy all year? Dang. All right then, you might not understand my need for this – but here’s a little anatomy lesson for you. Goats have this undercoat of fur that they grow in winter. It means we don’t have to go inside and get under the covers like humans do (they are SO ill prepared for life). But in spring it starts to shed out and man, we really need to scratch ourselves.  How’s about this to help us out a little?  https://tinyurl.com/scratching-brush-for-falkor

Hey look, I’m not the most refined guy you might ever meet but I’m interesting, I’ll say that much. Send a sponsor my way.  Not someone who wants to cuddle but somebody who can respect me for who I am. https://shop.stargazingfarm.org/product/falkor/

Yeah OK, that about does it. See you around,

Falkie