Santa my man,
Been a long time, right? Well Santa I can’t say that I’ve exactly been nice …. probably more naughty than nice but seriously, I provide entertainment daily here on the farm. You hear someone yelling, “Falkor, no!” or maybe even “Falkor, you jerk” and you know stuff is happening. Because this is a happening place.
But I have a little secret I need to tell you. I can’t tell anyone else, because they’d have so much fun at my expense. Santa – I’m afraid of the dark. You might remember than when I was little I used to play with fire. Yeah, I know, bad idea but I just love a good smoke ha ha. But I liked the light, ya know? Well anyhow, it’s dark out now all the time. I mean ALL the time. You ever spent winter in Maryland? I don’t recommend it.
Anyhow, I think shedding some light on things will help calm my nerves and I won’t be compelled to heat butt quite so much. Ya think?
OK for starters: We eat in the rudely-named “Goat Containment Center” twice a day (GCC for short). Yeah, we’re locked in but we do get some decent grub. But it’s dark back there, I mean no light. Could you send us this bright motion-detecting light? https://tinyurl.com/lights-for-falkor
So you might not think it to look at me, but I’m kind of an environmental activist and I love recycling (especially when it’s cardboard and I can chew on it). These rechargeable batteries and the charger will mean we don’t have to throw away batteries when they’re all used up. https://tinyurl.com/batteries-for-falkor
Now here’s the deal. Recently they moved the “ugly shed” and started storing hay and straw in there. Hay? My little tiny ears perked up at that. See, the old guys get the square bale hay and WE get only the big round bale hay. For those not in the know about these things, the square bale hay is shorter and easier to chew and much tastier. So any time they open that shed, I make a point of coming in with them. But …. it’s dark in there! And I have just the solution! Check out these multi-colored lights: https://tinyurl.com/push-lights-for-falkor Cool, psychedelic! I always knew I was a hippie throwback.
So last thing, here Santa man, a broom. Ray Ray complained about goat poop getting in the way of his (amazingly long and frequent) naps. Well I have a thing or two to say about SHEEP poop. And while he wants a rake and that’s fine, and rakes are great, *I* want a broom. I want a barn floor smooth as a baby’s bottom (can I say that here?) https://tinyurl.com/broom-for-falkor
Santa, I’m not asking for cookies this year. Cookies have gotten me in BIIIG trouble so we won’t go there. That’s why I’m asking for responsible, adult-type gifts. Are you cool with that?
AAAAND – a sponsorship! Yes, I don’t typically head-butt my sponsors and I’m definitely the coolest guy to sponsor.
https://shop.stargazingfarm.org/product/falkor/ Oh yeah, one more thing: my fans can buy a Falkor ornament! Check it out! https://shop.stargazingfarm.org/product/carved-ornaments/
OK Sants, it’s been real. Happy Christmas and all that jazz to you and everybody way up north.
Star Gazing Farm
16760 Whites Store Road
Boyds, MD 20841