It is I again, Waldo the pig. And how honored I am to have the pleasure of taking pen to paper and writing you this letter to inform you of the goings on at the farm and in my life.
Sir Santa, may I please inform you that the situation of “squatting” has come to my attention at this farm. Specifically, I have been ousted from my nap spot more than once over this past year and in some very rude manners. Let me explain: many years ago a dog house was built in a very sturdy and solid way, with insulation and even a front porch for al fresco dining. It was built for a dog who did not wish to use it, he, preferring instead to sleep in the open air. And thus it was that the house became vacant and I subsequently became the renter of said house. I purchased a bed for it, and have inhabited it ever since. But over the past year there has been a trend of those shopping for real estate to “try out” my house. This has resulted in many hours of lost sleep on my part. A ferocious goat tore apart my bed (as you can see perhaps in the photo of this beastly creature). Please bear in mind that these animals have the option of the entire farm to select their own abode. It is well known that this dog house has been and is and will continue to be my home and therefore I must lodge a formal complaint and request that they be ousted immediately and that a no tresspassing sign be posted on all sides.
Now. Because of the torn bed, I am in great need of a new one. I am an aging pig, and my joints require considerably more padding and support than they used to (although if the truth be told, I have always been a lover of life’s comforts). Please note that I do need a bolster on the sides – a pillow quite significantly improves one’s sleep: https://tinyurl.com/bed-for-waldo
Sir, every day when the weather permits, I take a bath. Sadly, the notion of “community property” also seems to extend to my pool, often occupied by geese who defecate freely into it. This is unacceptable. However, I am a resourceful pig and I have arranged for a daily cleaning service to ensure I have a hygienic environment; we pigs are terribly clean, as you surely know. Scrubbing with tiny brushes and sponges takes very long and does not really do the job right. I am in need of a powerwasher that will blast the goose cooties right off the property. https://tinyurl.com/pressure-washer-for-waldo
Now, in the colder weather I do not take baths very often, and, just like people, my skin can become dry and cracked. It is quite uncomfortable. This lotion is highly recommended for pigs and I would like it so that my skin can feel better in the winter: https://tinyurl.com/skin-lotion-for-waldo
In closing, may I urge your friends and followers to send in a sponsorship for me. I am truly a gregarious pig and most worthy of a plethora of sponsorships for this holiday season. https://shop.stargazingfarm.org/product/waldo/ I shall be most grateful and also terribly excited to meet them and show them around my farm. One thing: they will not be allowed to go into my house. I do have my boundaries.
With all my love and appreciation for everything you do for animals,
Star Gazing Farm
16760 Whites Store Road
Boyds, MD 20841