Stinky Pete

Well now hello there Santa. We haven’t met yet. You might think you don’t want to meet me because of my name, but it’s a nickname from my old life. Ah, those days of peeing on my beard to attract women. Sigh. They could detect me from miles around. I fathered several babies, two of whom live with me at the farm now. Not that they ever listen to anything I say. Old Pa has no wisdom to impart to such young whippersnappers.

It’s true, I had a few dalliances when I first arrived here with Miriam (an old gal but game) and Caroline (she never left the fence that, alas, separated us from having a true romance). But they insisted here that I get educated (they called it “tutoring”) and I learned the error of my ways. I’ve gone back to my wife Esme (mother of my children). I think some congratulations are in order?

See, we were living at this place where the guy who was supposed to give us food didn’t exactly show up all the time. Some people around the neighborhood got their panties in a twist about it and so the whole gang of us got deported. It’s OK, I’m cool with this new joint – free food all the time and beautiful women.

Now: first things first. I am petitioning the social security administration to get a formal name change to “Sweet Pete”. They keep returning my letters saying that they don’t handle goat cases. Can you help me out?

Santa, it’s dark here in the winter time. And our feeding spot is dark. We have one of these lights in there already, but there is none at the entrance and let me tell you, when it’s feeding time there is a huge rush like at Macy’s on Black Friday. It’s craziness. We really need another light: https://tinyurl.com/light-for-stinky-pete

So I’m a little goat. My children are little goats. My wife is a little goat. Little goats like to play on, in and all around structures. We like to climb and jump and generally cause a ruckus. Someday … someday we would like to have a Noah’s Ark like this one: https://tinyurl.com/noahs-ark-for-stinky-pete  It would also be a good place for the occasional secret tryst, if you get my drift.

Back to reality: Snacks. we need snacks. Ginger snaps, animal crackers, or these AMAZING looking dried pumpkin treats. It says they are for dogs, but forget that. Dogs won’t eat those, but we WILL! https://tinyurl.com/pumpkin-treats-for-stinky-pete

Hey Santa, a few people have sponsored me this year and let me tell you that it is a real honor. But … I’m in a competition with Jean-Claude to see who gets more sponsorships. I’d really like to win!

https://shop.stargazingfarm.org/product/sponsor-stinky-pete/

Good chatting with you Santa, and see you again I hope!

Your friend,
Stinky Pete