Mr. Claus, allow me to introduce myself. I am Saul, an elderly and distinguished Angora goat. I’ve walked the earth for many years now and I’ve met many goats in my time. May I just say that your beard is the envy of all goats – would that we could grow such a fine, luxurious, long white beard!
I believe I am the oldest goat on this farm (Madison is the oldest sheep, but he and I have not yet had the pleasure of meeting). Being old, however, does not mean that I cannot administer a handy head-butt when the need arises.
Mr. Claus, it took me quite some time to figure out just what I ought to ask you for, but I believe I have come up with a few extremely useful things. Some are small and cost little more than a fancy coffee. One is rather large but terribly, terribly important especially for me. Are you curious, now? Then allow me to begin:
First, the small: Timers for our heat lamps in winter and fans in summer. https://tinyurl.com/timers-for-saul
In winter, for example, often the temperatures are quite fine during the day and we do not need heat lamps to be running, because, frankly, we are out and about on the farm. But at night we need to snuggle in and get warm. Most humans are very forgetful and having our lamps on timers will ensure we are warm at night, and the humans are not paying the electrical company lots of extra money.
Second: Feed scoops.
The state of our feed scoops is alarming and, honestly, disgraceful. They have been chewed on by dogs, taped up many times, and generally are barely usable. We like to color code things here: for instance, Bruno gets the yellow bucket, the alpacas get the pink bucket, the old sheep get the green bucket, light blue for the “bad goats”, and red for the angora goats. We could use several colors of these scoops to keep the humans’ brains straight when they dish out the food (especially ours): https://tinyurl.com/feed-scoops-for-saul I will personally make sure that no dogs are allowed near these scoops.
Third: A very good dewormer. Alrighty then, now we are getting a bit pricier. You may or may not know that angora goats are somewhat prone to getting intestinal parasites. We are delicate creatures. There are several types of dewormers to use, but this one is an old standard and quite good to have on hand (and I happen to know we are just about out of it): https://tinyurl.com/safeguard-for-saul
Fourth: a wireless camera system. Now for my grand finale! May I tell you why I need this? You see, I’m a bit rickety and sometimes when I sit down, I have trouble getting up. If I’m leaning to the left, I can get up pretty well. If I’m leaning to the right, I can get stuck. It’s extremely embarrassing. The humans want to be able to monitor me to make sure they don’t have to rush out in a freezing rainstorm in their pajamas to get me upright. They have told me this is what they want (shrug)? Me, I prefer to stay indoors in pajamas but anyhow.
We need a wireless camera system that can be viewed from the humans’ cell phones. We need help figuring out what would be best for us, so I’m hoping there is a smart person out there who could provide this old goat some consulting. Right now we’re looking at either Arlo (https://www.arlo.com/) or Reolink (https://reolink.com/). Trust me that other animals will benefit from this system. It will really help make sure everyone is safe and sound.
Ah, and lest I forget …. I am not sure that anyone has ever sponsored me but that would truly warm the cockles of my old goatie heart! https://shop.stargazingfarm.org/product/sponsor-saul/
My fine man, I am honored to have been able to write to you, and I hope that you can whisper in the ears of Those Who Are Generous so that some (or all!) of my wishes may come true.
Very truly yours,
Saul the goat
Star Gazing Farm
16760 Whites Store Road
Boyds, MD 20841