Dear Saint Nicholas,
Let me tell you how excited the animals are to see you land on our roof! Will you land on the house or on the barn? I suggest the barn because, although it’s your tradition to come down the fireplace, I’m afraid your nice red outfit might get burned a bit from the cozy fire going. Plus, the barn is where all the action is!
There is a legend that at midnight on Christmas Eve the animals can talk. It’s a lovely story. But the truth is, we talk all the time. And I mean, ALL the time. I just wonder what weirdo human came up with this story that animals only talk once a year? It’s animal suppression, I tell you! Oh, I’m quite the animal activist, I am, and if you didn’t know it before, you must know it now – the donkeys will be in charge of the revolution! Out front, braying to everyone that animals deserve to be treated fairly. Everywhere in the world. Starting now. Do not use us, do not abuse us, do not make us do jobs we are too weak to do, do not eat us at your table. Remember that we, too, have souls.
OK enough of that now, let’s get down to brass tacks here, Santa.
I am an organizer. I believe we have established this fact, yes? So, first we need some of these organizing baskets: http://tinyurl.com/organizers-for-mehitabel We need them for our scrub brushes at the barn sink, and we need them in the barn stalls for our most-used horse grooming tools such as hoof picks and a few brushes so in case I need a quick touch-up for visitors, everything is right at hand.
Next, going with the organizing and convenience theme, I’d like please this very attractive hook system for our halters: http://tinyurl.com/hooks-for-mehitabel Alas, I was unable to find any donkey-themed ones, but the horses will do. We are related, in a vague way, I suppose. Right now our halters are hanging on a nail. A NAIL! It’s so uncouth.
Santa, the quest for a perfect halter for me continues! They’re just like Goldilocks and three bears. They’re too small, too large – I need one that is just right. I’ve done some measuring, and I believe this will not only be perfect, it will be much more comfortable on my acquiline nose. Not only is it a gorgeous purple, but it has a handy hook so it will be fast to put on and take off (I’m a bit of a pistol when it comes to haltering. No surprise there). http://tinyurl.com/halter-for-mehitabel
That’s it for me, Santa. So glad to have this chance to chat with you. Oh, please don’t forget to send me sponsors! https://shop.stargazingfarm.org/product/mehitabel/
Yours in the struggle,
Commandante Mehitabel of the “Peace and Love for Animals and Don’t Mess With Us Army”