Jethro

Most esteemed Mr. Claus,

How mighty honored I am to be corresponding with you again. You have been so very kind to me in past years. You may remember that I came up in less than ideal circumstances, living off the land but not doing a very thorough job of it. Why, I had almost no hair and no fat, either. I’ve taken care of both those issues here at this establishment.

Santa, it saddens me to tell you that I am in my twilight years. I require more medical attention and a great deal more maid service than when I was more active as the neighborhood official barker. (Everyone neighborhood has one, as I’m sure you are aware – someone to alert to every goings-on no matter how small.)

Sometimes I get some laser therapy treatment to help my joints (you can see me in my cool shades in the photo!). Really, if you have a chance to move in here, it’s a grand place with all kinds of benefits.

Now Santa, I’m still a handsome fellow, but my legs just don’t work like they used to and, oh how embarrassing, sometimes I can’t quite make it to the men’s room in time. That was my reference to maid service. So let’s just talk turkey here, ok? I’m going to need a new box of these very fine pee pads. https://tinyurl.com/potty-pads-for-jethro They help my mama very much. That naughty Mamie sometimes uses them too, but she has this trick (I swear I don’t know how she does it) where she pees UNDER the pad. Mama uses bad words but I have to chuckle. Mamie is a clown.

Now, as a fellow gentleman of the senior variety, I’m sure that you take supplements.  As do I! One of them is this very fine product: https://tinyurl.com/sam-e-supplement-for-jethro It helps me from getting dementia, so they say. Oh, a dog with dementia is quite a sad thing to see, but I work on my crosswords every day and run the multiplication tables in my head so I believe that those, plus this fine supplement, will keep me off the memory care unit.

I also take this: https://tinyurl.com/cholodin-for-jethro and this also helps with my brain function as well as other good things.  Sometimes I share my supplements with Milo; he’s not very old but he runs miles a day and anyhow, he’s my favorite dog on this farm, if the truth be known. Ah, in my younger days I’d run up and down the fence line with him. Just two bros doing our thing. It was grand.

People used to be concerned about my weight. Well, now, I did become quite portly after I moved here – I believe I was making up for lost time since I was quite starved before I came. I still have an excellent appetite but I’ve shaved off a few pounds, and may I just say that I truly do enjoy these soft treats just before I go to sleep at night: https://tinyurl.com/grillers-treats-for-jethro

I’m getting mighty sleepy here, so I’m going to have to sign off, but before I do, don’t forget to send me a sponsor. I have the softest head for petting and I’m just really nice, sweet dog to hang out with. https://shop.stargazingfarm.org/product/jethro/

It has been my absolute pleasure today, and I wish you and the Missus a very happy, happy holiday season.

Your friend,

Jethro