Cosmo

Ho ho ho Mr. Clausie,

I am Cosmo. I am a very cute and very naughty goat. I know that you know this already, since you make the lists of who’s been naughty and nice, but I’m *mostly* nice, aren’t I? And my naughtiness is onlly meant to make humans laugh. Humans don’t laugh enough, Mr. Clausie – except you. Thank goodness you’re coming here tomorrow so everyone can start laughing.

Santie (may I call you that?), my sister, the “perfect Stella” AKA “la princesa” came here swimming in our mommy’s tummy. She and daddy and a whole bunch of their friends were picked up by humans in blue suits because they didn’t have enough to eat and their barn was really yucky. They said it’s “pretty nice” here.  I think it’s more than that but what are you going to do with parents, anyhow?

So: Santie, I kind of get about the farm a lot. I mean, a LOT. Sometimes I need to be “locked in” (that is not a word in goat vocabulary, but the humans have been trying to explain it to me). They put up these grates on the gates – see, Stella and I are pretty small and we can squeeze through anything. Then we run around during feeding time and eat everyone else’s food. It’s a good game to see who can hit the most feed stations. Anyhow. The humans said that I need zip ties. Now, before you get all worked up, these are to tie the grates to the gates (not all gates are properly grated). The humans said, “it will save our sanity”!  I guess that’s a good thing? https://tinyurl.com/zip-ties-for-cosmo And they’re cheap!

So in order to put the grates on the gates, they also need some good wire cutters. Humans need so many tools.  I don’t understand why they are so helpless on their own.  SMH.  Anyhow.  Here are the wirecutters and they’re nice and cheap, too!  https://tinyurl.com/wire-cutters-for-cosmo

Did you know that in wintertime they put up these really nice heat lamps for us? And heated water buckets? And a radio so we can get educated about Beethoven and Bach? But sometimes they need to plug in several things at once. This splitter would be very useful for them. It’s also cheap! https://tinyurl.com/power-cord-for-cosmo

Santie, you’ve got to know I’m working up to the Big Ask! See, I love riding on the tractor. One of these days I’m going to ride in the truck, too, and go out on the town and meet people. Well, but did you know that tires lose their air sometimes? Sort of like when your reindeer get all out of breath (they’re very impressive, by the way, and I really want to meet Rudolph, please). Well so when the tires go down they need air and this handy portable compressor will mean a lot to everyone, especially handyman Dave who is my bestest friend.  So, here it is!  https://tinyurl.com/air-compressor-for-cosmo

It’s not cheap but it’s not expensive, either 🙂

Finally, I was born here in JANUARY! Yes, I’m BRAND NEW! That means that I’ve never had a sponsor in my whole life. Would you send me one or three or five? Oh thank you, Santie. When you come you can sit on the tractor with me!

https://shop.stargazingfarm.org/product/sponsor-cosmo/

Ho ho ho, Santie, don’t forget to make all the humans laugh like you do!

Love love love,

Cosmo the goat