OK then, Santa, what’s the deal? What’s going on? Listen, I don’t think we’d better talk about naughty and nice today. Ok with you? I mean, better leave some things unsaid.
So let’s get right to it! First you need to know that I’m on the FRONT COVER of the 2022 calendar. PLUS I’m featured as Mr. April. I’m angling for the centrefold next year. Anyhow, get a copy of the calendar while they’re hot! They’re going fast! Won’t last long! Call now and get yours! https://shop.stargazingfarm.org/product/2022-wall-calendar/
You know I’m from Bal’more, right? Yeah, I’m a city goat but I’ve adapted pretty well to this country living. You know, fresh air, crunchy hay, good looking women. What a life! As you know, I’m a young, healthy goat and my hooves grow like weeds! I need them trimmed a LOT and the best pair of hoof trimmers that we have… well they work ok for now but Stephanie the dog chewed up the handle so I don’t know how long they will last. I could use a new pair so that I can get my regular foot work done – I’m working on my dance moves and long hooves really get in the way: https://tinyurl.com/hoof-trimmers-for-falkor
Look, you know I’m a flying goat, right? And some of my cousins are dragons. So I really need a new dragon collar. I got one from you last year, but I kind of wore it out. I’m hard on collars, what can I say. But I liked that one – so I really want a new one, ok? https://tinyurl.com/new-collar-for-falkor Right now I’m wearing some stupid hand-me-down collar and geez it’s ugly. I need to look snazzy when I go out on the town.
So everyone here knows I have a very discerning palate. I don’t go for those ordinary brown sheep minerals. Blech. I like the Himalayan salt blocks a LOT https://tinyurl.com/himalayan-salt-for-falkor and I also would like to try this loose salt (salt is really good for us goats): https://tinyurl.com/goat-salt-for-falkor
Santa, I’m really handsome and charming, and people look at me and say, “oh my, look at that handsome and charming goat.” But I just can’t help myself; I love to headbutt them. Do you think this is normal, or should I sign up for counseling? It feels totally normal to me but what do I know, I’m a goat!
Santa, please send me a sponsor. I don’t promise to not headbutt them – but if it’s one thing I am, it’s honest! https://www.stargazingfarm.org/animals/sponsor-an-animal/
Yeah, gotta go now, see ya Santa,
Falkor