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How do you do, Mr. Santa Claus!

How very pleased I am to make your acquaintance.  Why, this very time last year I was but a street urchin, a waif tossed out upon the ugly surf of modern life to fend for myself.  And how, pray tell, could anyone expect such a one as me to fend?  I’ve no teeth for biting, no claws for digging, summerweight feathers  – and in December, why, it’s just beastly out.  Impossible to even dig up any bugs.  I am sorry to report that I was slowly and sadly starving to death.  Until… until… I happened upon a vision of loveliness.  Three maidens, they were, frolicking in the woods.  Upon seeing me, they cried out, “oh my poor baby” (for the record, I am not a baby but we shall let that pass for now), swooped me up in their fair arms and brought me forthwith to their home.  While I was treated with the utmost care and respect, the neighbors started an outcry: “a rooster!”, they complained!  “How dare thee have a rooster in our neighborhood.”  And thus it was that I had to bid farewell to the three lovely maidens and to come to this farm to live where, I must admit, there is what they call in modern slang “a lot of action.”

Yes indeed, well my lady Rotkäppchen keeps me good company as does our bodyguard Buster.  The three of us visit daily with Davey, Herbie Rhoda, and try to steer well clear of the Big Bachelor Roosters.

Are you aware that chicken feet can get cold?  Please disregard our unfortunate relationship with the dinosaurs; we are modern creatures who delight in modern comforts.  This pad would be perfect https://www.chewy.com/kh-pet-products-thermo-chicken-heated/dp/148382 for keeping our tootsies warm when we wish to be in out of the wind and rain and sleet and snow and all such manner of dreadful winter occurrences.

I understand that this item costs very dear but the farm has used these in the past and they have been life savers when the water normally would freeze overnight.  https://www.chewy.com/kh-pet-products-heated-thermo-poultry/dp/148380  We feathered creatures must keep hydrated in all types of weather.

Now, Santa, if you are on a budget, you might want to consider contributing to the “Chicken Party Cause.”  https://www.chewy.com/happy-hen-treats-corn-mealworm-party/dp/122440  Buster insists they should be taken with beer, but I am a confirmed teetotaler, myself, but I do indulge in snacking from time to time.

The notion of a “sponsor” is an interesting one, and I should like to explore it further.  https://www.stargazingfarm.org/animals/sponsor-an-animal/ I don’t believe I’ve ever met someone who considers themself a “sponsor” and would quite enjoy the experience.  Please do send one or two my way, kind Santa.

Now I mustn’t tarry, there are many things for me to attend to today.

Ta ta,